We have been taught since we were kids that having children will be the best thing to happen in our lives. Although this may be true for some it is not true for everyone. Having children is a huge decision to make in your life, but we have been told that not having kids is an even bigger decision. Society bases a woman’s worth on whether she is a mother or not. If a woman is focused on her career or herself she is considered selfish and needs to settle down and have a family. We need to realize that our lives should not be based on having children in the future.
We have been conditioned to want to have kids in the future and we need to break this mindset. There is nothing wrong with having kids, but you should not feel like you have too. I remember when I was a kid all of my girlfriends said they wanted to be a mom when they grew up. I was very confused because I thought that every girl would become a mom one day. This does not seem harmful, but looking back I realized how silly that was to think. Another big issue with this is because of this societal standard a lot of women cannot get their tubes tied. Women get denied this procedure just because they might regret it or change their mind when they get older. Having children is a huge responsibility that some people don’t want to take on.
It’s hard to make such a huge decision especially when you don’t know if you actually want kids or if it’s just the pressure from society. We need to learn how to take our lives into our own hands. When we take a step back, look at what society has taught us, and listen to ourselves we can figure out what we really want with our lives.
If you are worried about your future timeline and when you will have kids I think you should take a step back and breath. Think about if you really want kids or if society has just conditioned you to think that. I have done a lot of research on pregnancy and birth and realized that I may not want kids myself. Motherhood has been glamorized and we never hear about the bad parts of it, so I recommend doing your own research. Having a child can be an amazing part of your life, but we should think long and hard if that is something we really want. We can break away from this cycle of society making our choices for us if we take the time to listen to ourselves.
If you have already decided you do not want kids but feel the pressure from society do not give up. I have heard many stories about women having to go to five doctors just to get their tubes tied so I understand the struggle. Stay true to yourself and live the life that you want to live. I think surrounding yourself with people who support your choice is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. If you are having trouble finding a doctor that will tie your tubes many planned parenthoods do tubal ligation. Have you ever been asked when you’re going to have kids? To help make a change share this post with women you know.
