In 2001 Destiny’s Child came out with their single Survivor, an iconic song about not needing a man and the power of surviving alone.
“You thought that I’d be broke without you, but I’m richer,
You thought that I’d be sad without you, I laugh harder”
During this time period, 2001, women typically sang about needing men. The top songs of the charts, Fallin’, All For You, Let Me Blow Ya Mind, and Someone To Call My Love, all sing about their devotion to men. Beyoncé, ahead of her time, sang about independence and gender equality.
Destiny Child’s song, Independent Women (2001), inspired women with the idea of self-reliance and preservation. Women dreamt of finding the perfect husband and staying at home with children, while Destiny’s Child sang about following a passion and providing for oneself. As a 9 year old listening to this song, I decided to strive to live a life without the dictation of a man and the freedom of my own choices. The line from the song, “I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings” made a huge impact on my life. No longer did young girls dream of a prince charming to save them, but rather to save themselves with hard work and dedication. Not only do they sing of financial independence, but also the freedom and equality in relationships. “Try to control me, boy you get dismissed.” This catchy statement rang out of my boom box time after time, subconsciously changing my 9 year old persona towards men. After Beyoncé broke away from Destiny’s Child she continued to create inspiring music.
As I turned 13 in 2006, Beyoncé came out with Irreplaceable. The song quickly hit the top charts. She sung about her kicking a cheating boyfriend to the curb. As a middle school student and just starting to consciously observe relationships, this song impacted how I viewed cheating. “I could have another you in a minute, Matter of fact, hell be here in a minute, baby.” Plenty of women put up with cheating and take their partners back after infidelity, but Beyoncé’s powerful anthem inspires the latter. “Call up that chick and see if she’s home, Oops, I bet you thought, that I didn’t know.” Her lyrics motivated women to stay strong and not take cheaters back. Most importantly her lyrics sang about not turning a blind eye but confronting a cheater, leaving them, and finding a new partner. Simple as that.
Beyoncé came out with her single, If I Were A Boy, in 2008. The song talked about the double standards between men and women. The music video, a woman acting how men stereotypically act in relationships, opened up the question of gender roles in relationships. “If I were a boy I would turn off my phone, Tell everyone it was broken, so they’d think I was sleeping alone, Because I know she would be faithful, waiting for me to come home” The women acting like a man works as a cop and ignores her husband while spending the day flirting with her partner. The video puts gender roles into perspective and sheds a light on how women and men act differently in relationships. This song came out as I entered my high school years, and just starting to date. As a role model, Beyoncé detrimentally influenced the way I responded to men and how I acted in relationships.
In 2016, Beyoncé released Lemonade just as I turned twenty-one. Along with turning twenty-one, I experienced my first true heartbreak. Beyoncé released an album about her husband cheating on her and the various feelings she felt toward that. Her single Sorry, the most inspiring song on the album, helped me to move on and not dwell in the past. The upbeat song reveals how Beyoncé reached her limit during the relationship, as “I ain’t thinking bout you” repeats throughout the song. “Looking at my watch he should’ve been home, Today I regret the night I put that ring on, He always got them excuses” She sings powerful and deep lyrics about how she’s sick of feeling taken advantage of and tired of analyzing excuses. These relatable lyrics helped me feel not alone during my break up and that i’m not the only one sick of excuses and lies.
By the end of the song Beyoncé finally reaches her tipping point and states, “I left a note in the hallway, by the time you read it I’ll be far away.” As everyone knows, its difficult to leave a relationship, but she chose to leave without giving him the chance to tell another excuse. This influential message rang though my speakers as I reached the breaking point of my relationship and also felt the need to leave.
The upbeat vibe of the song shows that leaving finally brought her freedom and peace, an important part to her message. “He only want me when I’m not there, He better call Becky with the good hair.” This quote, the endnote to the song, suggests that she now understands his pattern and will no longer believe his pleas for forgiveness. Leaving ended her paranoia and worthless feelings the relationship brought, causing her new carefree attitude. She finally doesn’t feel the need to worry about him cheating anymore, she’s free. “Chilln… not getting cheated on”, a common saying amongst my some of my friends, stay single to enjoy life without the worry infidelity and the problems relationships commonly entail. This peace of mind best describes the carefree attitude of Beyoncé in her song. She’s now free.
The second and final noteworthy song on her album Lemonade, Hold Up, also speaks of her husband’s infidelity. This upbeat song’s message revolves around the idea of anger, unlike her song Sorry. In the music video Beyoncé takes a bat to cars on a street, with a smile on her face. “What worse looking jealous or crazy? Jealous and crazy,” she sings. “Something don’t feel right, because it ain’t right” Call it intuition, but it’s obvious when something doesn’t feel right in a relationship. Beyoncé causes havoc on a street with a bat, which is a metaphor for how she feels on the inside. She explodes with anger and pain caused by all the time and years she devoted just to end up with a cheating husband.
Beyoncé influenced my childhood and remains a major role model in my life. From age 7 to 21, I listened closely her lyrics and let her strength guide me though hard times. Her music acted as an anthem that allowed me the ability to say goodbye to unhealthy relationships and the power and drive to purse my own goals. I will soon graduate college, get a job, and “Buy My Own Diamonds, and My Own Rings.”
What artist most influenced your childhood?