We’ve always heard that it takes 21 days to make a habit, but that’s not necessarily true, unfortunately. It might take longer than 60 days to adhere to new patterns that are pretty overwhelming to think about.

Wouldn’t you even want to try that? Often I think of the patterns I’ve had in the past and how tough it was to change them. It certainly took more than 21 days to be consistent.

So my new habit of hearing my alarm is that I’m determined to improve (well, kind of determined, otherwise it would have happened by now, right?).

It’s exhausting to build new habits, particularly if you’re still trying and failing. Although we for fault it for lack of our own will or capacity, that’s not a good enough excuse to stop trying. In this post, I’m sharing what mental shifts need to happen to help you develop better behaviors and make them last.

Your Mindset + Habits

Moving from bad habit to good habit can be overwhelming if you’re having trouble maintaining it. If you don’t make changes and keep slipping back to your old ways, you might make a story in your head why you don’t have the will to do it. But if you’ve been doing your current habit for a long time, your body and mind are used to doing so.

You’re going to get back to it by chance because it’s familiar and comfortable. For example, if you plan to start exercising every day for 30 minutes, but you’re not working out at all at the moment, you’ll naturally assume it’s too hard and find ways to get out of it.

Don’t blame yourself for not having the will to improve, give yourself some respect. It’s hard to change what you’ve been doing for so long. Don’t let your old convictions persuade you that you’re not capable of improvement. It’s still a decision to keep trying.

How To Stick To New Habits

Right now I’m working on not snoozing my alarm and getting out of bed earlier. I thought I was being smart by putting my alarm far away so I have to get up to turn it off. But what happens is I get out of bed to turn off my alarm and then immediately climb back into bed. I tell myself I’ll rest for a few minutes, which of course leads to me falling back asleep again.

There was a time when I would wake up and read in bed, and that worked for a while but only because I can’t fall back asleep if I’m sitting up. Now the real habit I want to achieve is to get out of bed earlier. Otherwise, I could wake up at 7 am but stay in bed until 8 am reading. I’m not trying to create loopholes for myself.

Ultimately I want to jump out of bed as soon as my alarm goes off and not talk myself out of it. I know there’s Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule, but I haven’t had much success with that.

Part of the problem with my current habit was that I didn’t have a specific action to take as soon as I wake up. Often I’d get up and didn’t know what to do first – should I make breakfast, workout, read, meditate?

Using Comfort Triggers

Something I’ve been trying lately is finding a comfortable trigger that helps move me closer to my new habit of getting up earlier without it feeling impossible.

Since we stick to old habits because they make us feel relaxed, I thought there had to be a way to make new habits simpler for us by making them more comfortable. I know that different routines are intended to get you out of your comfort zone, but even trying something like cold turkey doesn’t always succeed.

I’m sure that developing new patterns is just about tricking your brains.

In my situation, I was dreaming of how I could mimic the warmth of my bed without having to lie in bed. What’s so cozy and inviting? Maybe pulling on a sweatshirt straight away, having a hot cup of tea, or covering myself up in a blanket and wandering around with it until I’m completely awake (you know you’ve done it before).

The truth is, it works. Now when my alarm goes off, I put on the sweatshirt I put out and I went to the kitchen to make some tea. I’ve been sitting on the couch for a few minutes reading a book and I’ve been drinking a cup of tea. I’m out of bed comfort, but I’ve found it a bit more comfortable to get up sooner.

Anyway, that’s what I’m exploring right now and I wanted to share in case it helps you on your journey to create better habits.

Other ideas for comfort triggers:

• If you’re trying to get to the gym every day, what will give you some comfort during the discomfort? Maybe that’s watching Netflix on the treadmill or wearing your comfiest activewear.
• If you’re trying to eat healthier, challenge yourself to recreate healthier versions of your favorite comfort food.
• If you’re trying to reduce your coffee consumption, try swapping coffee for a different type of warm and comforting beverage like tea or an iced latte.

 

What habits are you working on changing?

Leave a comment and share what habits you’re working on right now!