As much as we want to plan accordingly, life always throws curve balls in our direction. I’m sure you’ve had those moments where absolutely nothing is going the way you hoped it would be. The elaborate plans, the dream scenarios–they all don’t seem to pan out. In many aspects of my life, I’m a planner. Planning gives me a sense of assurance and eases my mind from the ‘how I’m going to do this job’ sort of thinking. That being said, there’s been so many times in my life that I’ve pictured things going some way, but they end up going totally wrong.
When things don’t plan, it’s easy to start freaking out. You could spiral to a negative position when things don’t go your way. You feel irritated that your feelings appear to be controlling you in the opposite direction. But if it can seem unlikely, you should train yourself to be cool as the losses arrive. You just need to know what to pay attention to when this happens. In this post, I’m sharing how you can remain calm when things don’t go as expected, so you can move on instead of feeling powerless.
How to stay calm during setbacks
So how are we going to prepare ourselves to remain cool in all kinds of situations? There are so many feelings that emerge when something goes wrong: rage, resentment, heartbreak, anxiety, sorrow. All these thoughts start running through your mind like, “Do I just give up?” And, “I asked, “was all the hard work I put in for nothing?” It’s impossible not to blame anyone else for the project and to wonder about how things “might” have been. Instead of falling through a depressive spiral, here are a few things that will help you cope with your life’s setbacks:
Set some realistic goals. One of the ways you can prevent frustration to begin with is making sure you’re not expecting that everything will always go your way. Life has ambitions of its own, no matter what the expectations are. Although I’m still going to be a planner by nature, I’ve discovered that you have to prep for the unexpected.Hope for the better, but realize that you’re never going to be completely in charge of the process.
Sit with all the frustration.When you feel that you’re starting to freak out, it’s important to let yourself sit down with your emotions right now. I don’t believe in pushing down your thoughts and feelings.Your feelings give you a better understanding of what is important to you and what you appreciate. Give yourself a moment to get together. Go outside. Tell that person you’re with that you need a moment. Let yourself embrace the condition from there instead of dwelling on it. As people, we prefer to focus on circumstances because we enjoy the feeling of strong emotion, whether we know it or not. So when you’re worrying about it, maybe it intensifies the problem and adds control to the situation.Take back power by creating awareness of your feelings and what has happened, rather than using your energy to accuse someone or yourself.
Decide what will happen next. Sometimes it’s hard to think clearly when you’re dealing with a setback, but the quicker you can stop dwelling, the easier it becomes to see your next steps. Instead of having to give up, think about what the choices are. Chat it out for someone, whether they’re calling for advice or only asking whether they’re going to listen while you talk it out. Get everything out of your system in every way. When it comes to making a decision, choose the option or route that will get you closer to your ultimate target, even though it takes additional effort and time.
How do you stay calm when things don’t go to plan?
In the end, keeping your cool is about preparing for the unexpected, letting yourself sit with the situation, and making the decision to take the next step. I’d love to know if you have a story similar to mine when nothing went as planned. How did you handle the situation? What lessons did you learn? Share your thoughts in the comments below!