Start with talk with slughorn, then the awkward moments where you can’t walk away from because it’s Day, then talk to Dumbledore at night, “…are those Fangs?”
“What, no shut up.”
Then working at bookshop, missing recruitment opportunities because can’t go out in the day, hanging with death eaters who’ve kinda grown out of it, not as relevant, sneaking around at night is a lot more suspicious, mad that he’s still bossing them around after high school “Yeah, man, vampire life is a bit crazy, being a bats cool, I could’ve animagused into something cool like a falcon or a hummingbird or bumble bee, or like… one of those snakes I like, you know I like snakes? Man I’d put a bit of my soul into one if I could, dark lords best friend, yes I know you all think it’s arrogant, but cmon! I’m so dark I can’t even go into the sun! Half my body mass comes from my vitamin d supplements, that’s how committed I am to this, and I will fight you over that, just not during the day.”
“So, Tom.”
“I am lord Voldemort.”
“Whatevs, look, this whole vampire thing and planning about killing people and all was cool in highs school, and you know I’m still a fan of the idea, but I don’t think this is happening anytime soon and you know, my boss is a mud blood and without this continued hate he seems like a pretty good guy, I mean would I kill him if that squib from accounting gets that promotion instead of me, well I think I would think that I would, but not really go through with it.”
“That’s because you believe in a system that will destroy you from the neck down.”
“No that’s capitalism, Tom. We’re grown up now. I don’t want to keep doing this.”
“I’ll throw in some kick ass masks and put snakes on your canes!” “Goodbye Tom.”
Another guy pops up: “By the way, just so I have this clear, anyone not pureblood is bad, yeah.”
“Yeah.” “What about vampires?” “Well this vampire is the bloody exception!”
“Speaking of blood, I don’t think you nearly drinking all our potential recruits to death is a good business strategy.”
“We have to know they’d die for the cause.”
“Not during the initiation, Tom! Some of those guys are friends of friends who came for the snacks, you can’t just drink them!”
“It said on the flyers that it was for members only, they should’ve thought of that before I drank them through my snakey bendy straw. I’d totally put part of my soul in this if I could though.”
“Speaking of your soul and, indeed, your mortality I don’t think you’d do good in a fight Tom.”
“What, I can’t even… Avada Kedarva!”
“Yeah that’s what I thought, I think I did pretty good on this one Crabbe! Or was that Goyle…”
“Tom-.”
“Avada-!”
“Voldy, think about it, what are you.”
“The Dark Lord!”
“No, well yes, whatever makes you happy, but what else are you?”
“A pale freak the only thing going for me being this sexy nose.”
“I, well, you’re words not mine, but you are also a vampire.”
“Yes.”
“And what kills vampires?”
“The sun? Not enough blood? Stubbing my toe, twilight?”
“Stubbing your toe?”
“I’m mostly in my bat form now. Makes parsletounge hard since the snakes have trouble hearing, but it’s worth it.”
“You’re weakness is a stake through the heart, Tom.”
“Isn’t everybody’s?”
“You’re a bit more susceptible.”
“Ok, so?”
“What’s a stake made out of Tom?”
“It’s like a long piece of wood?” “And what does every wizard carry with them at all times?”
“Oh. Oh no. Oh no. New plan guys, reconvene in a week!”
Chat with bellatrix about how he shouldn’t be so pale,
“I was no friend to the sun before this, and to be honest I was heading down a one way road to bleached skin boulevard, but this just seems unhealthy. I mean I didn’t go out before by choice, but I always had the option. That’s what gets me.”
“Bella, I just feel as though I should’ve done more by now, don’t you agree? This whole daylight thing is wicked.”
“Why haven’t you infected others?”
“I can do that?”
“Yes!”
“Sorry! I grew up in a bloody orphanage excuse me for mixing up what for the first eleven years I thought to be bullshit up.”
“You know speaking of which, we did the math and there’s like not even 40 full blood families left and we couldn’t find any mention of any riddles anywhere…”
“Et tu Bella?”
“We’re kicking you out Tom.”
“Who’s going to replace me?!”
“We’re thinking Lucius.”
“Lucius? He couldn’t take on a glass of strawberry schnoz, much less the entire bloody world! Or at least Europe and that school we went too.” “We know, he’s our fall guy, owns a manor, we’ll be fine, though I think he’s going to marry my sister.”
“Haha, they’re kids going to be blonde and gross.”
“No, they’re thinking of calling him Tom Felton so he should be good no matter what he does.”
“Just removing the Malfoy name entirely huh?”
“You’re right, we’ll have to talk about it with our parents, hopefully we can keep some name themes, I don’t know, my father will hear about this, that should help. Where was I? Oh yeah, please leave Tim.”
“It’s Tom.”
“And it will never be Voldemort. Just go.”
Walking past tavern:
“Nagini, who needs those guys with they’re death eating and and… that was my thing damn it, they should come up with something else. If Dumbledore just didn’t tell everyone I was a vampire when he took house points away from us at the end of the year this wouldn’t have happened… Gryfindor! No, that’s in the past, at least they’re coming out with vampire sunblock next week, I’ll be king of the world then, they’ll see, just me and this kick ass nose, yes, the only thing keeping my sanity. My nose.”
Slam.
“Where you in such a hurry too James!”
“Sorry, I’ve got to dash Peter, Lilly’s- oh wow, sorry about that, are you alright?”
“I- I, yes, I should be fine.”
“Here let me just, Lumos!”
“Please put that away.”‘
“Don’t be silly it’s, ah!”
“What, nothing, just, you’re nose.”
“My… nose?”
“It’s all smashed up! Do you want me to call a doctor?”
“No that’s quite alright, maybe this is a sign. I’ll just sleep it off.”
“In the middle of the side walk?”
“Oh yeah they kicked me out of my own house!”
“You going to be alright?”
“Much better now. What’s your name?”
“James Potter.”
“Thank you James Potter.”
Sleeps, daylight, death.
(Alternatively, slam leads to bar fight and after losing by street rules he’s thrown out unconscious and dies in the morning.)