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Author: Chiyel Young (page 1 of 2)


Often times black girls can feel like an outsider when it pertains to certain situations such as being the only black girl in her classroom, being the only black girl to try out for the cheerleading team, or being the only black girl sitting at the round table at her job.

My mom always told me that I have two strikes against me. The first strike is that I am black. The second strike is that I am a woman. She told me that I had to be ten times better than the person standing next to me. For me personally, it took me years to feel comfortable with myself being the only black girl in the room at times.

While history has made for different races to feel uncomfortable in certain settings, having confidence in yourself no matter the race will allow positive energy into that space.

Not all black girls were giving the same upbringing as me; however, if black girls collectively start to own the space they are in. Then when that time presents itself to be at the big round table, the confidence will be there. This starts by showing that they are just as important as the next person, and if they believe they can do it then they will achieve it.

How can we make black girls feel more comfortable in certain settings? What can we tell them, to build their confidence up? Please feel free to comment!

Black Girl Love

Some black girls have a hard time distinguishing what a healthy and unhealthy relationship looks like. With society becoming what it has in the last decade with social media, music, and movies. Black girls subject themselves to disrespect from men and have a hard time understanding that it is not ok to get disrespected.

With social media being the center of most people’s lives. It has shaped the light in the way we pursue our relationships. We look to social media for validation. We allow social media to tell us what our relationships should look like.

Shows like Love & Hip-Hop, has made it look justifiable to be in a drama-intense relationship with your significant other.

Different music has allowed for black girls to be called names and society has made it ok.

If this continues on, some black girls may never know what it is like to be in a healthy relationship. We must start by reshaping societies approach for relationships by teaching them that the things they see in the media is to be left there. Teach them what real love is supposed to look like. Instill those standards in her so that she is not just settling for anything.

How can we separate the media and relationships? Please comment.

Mothers and Daughters

Some black girls and their mothers have a hard time getting along. Some black mothers fail their black daughters by not teaching them standards, morals, and values. Some black mothers do teach standards, morals, and values; thus, they are ten times harder on them causing their daughters to resent them and rebel against them, especially in their teenage years.

Failing to do teach enough to your daughter will catch up with her in almost every aspect of her life. Being too hard on her will cause the mother-daughter relationship to drift. So, how do you find common ground with teaching her, but at the same time, not being this obnoxious parent?

Some moms have a hard time parenting their daughters because they want to be their daughters best friends. As a child, my mom told me that right now she is my mother, but when I become an adult then I’ll become mother and friend.

My mom always told me that I am a reflection of her! She taught me what I needed to know for life, but also allowed me to make my own decisions for my life. I am 26 years old and this is how our relationship continues to be and I can call her my best friend now that I am all grown up.

Black mothers have to step up and get ahold of their daughters. Talk to other mothers. Ask for advice. Most importantly talk to your daughters!

How can mothers and daughters get along? Please share opinions!



Trust is a very significant factor in a black girls life. Black girls have a hard time trusting because of past experience, different encounters they have had, people leaving out of their lives, unhealthy relationships with significant others, and the list continues.

When trying to let get to know some black girls, it may take longer for them to let you in. Black girls don’t always easily become friends with one another. It usually takes several attempts from each other for them start calling one another a friend. Females in general are more emotional creatures, so when we do finally let someone in, it means we care for that person.

With black girls finding it hard to trust, they have a hard time having successful relationships with people, whether it’s a friendship or a significant other.

Getting black girls to trust easier would mean that their past incidents causing her to not trust would have to be completely erased. In the mean time, we can try not being the ones who breaks her trust. We can allow for her to know that we are here. Let her know that you’re not going to leave her. Work towards building her up for future friendships or relationships.

What do you think? Comment and share!


Black girls in Pittsburgh need to be made more aware of when it comes to opportunities for success for their lives. They need to know that their surroundings do not have to reflect who they grow up to be. Some people in the black community believe that their life growing up is the life they will lead as an adult. This is the type of mentality that is passed down from one generation to the next.

There are so many opportunities out there, especially for black girls. Did you know that there are scholarships out there for being black and a female? If black girls are not educated on the opportunities that lie ahead, of course their standards for their lives will look like we have failed them.

As a whole the black community has to get out of this stigma that there is no help for us because there is. We just either have to be our own help or research and find the help that is out there!

This starts by being educated, bringing in professional black women who black girls can identify with, creating organizations for success, having career exploration, going to college fairs, and the list goes on! Expose black girls to success!

In what other ways can success be shown? Please provide feedback!


As a Youth Development Specialist working with predominantly black girls in the Pittsburgh area, I have a strong, connected relationship my girls. My girls give so much attitude to me and I have not yet figured out a way to change that.

Our after school program is based on education, culture, building relationships, health and wellness, and much more. I am always wondering if my girls are getting this out of me. I have a hard time getting them to listen to me when it is time for them to do the lesson for the day. Whether its educational, group-like therapy, or a science experiment. My girls give me the most attitude. Being an authoritative figure of my age, when I was younger when an adult said to do something, I did it.

For a while black girls have been stereotyped to have attitudes and/or be aggressive. With these negative attitudes surfacing, it makes it difficult for educators and authoritative figures to reach that lesson for the day.

I think the problem with this starts at home. Parents have to stop allowing their children to give them negative attitude. Parents need to start teaching their children that respect for adults is a constant.

What do you think the problem is? Please share!


The good news is that black girls have the lowest rate for suicide, thus, suicide still takes place. The bad news that suicide is on the rise for the black community for ages 5-11 and 15-24. Suicide is not something that is always talked about in the black community.

Growing up I was told that suicide was a sin, and that if committed it would land me in Hell. Well that was enough to scare me out of my pants. When suicide is talked about in the black community, the conversation is often seen in a negative light, where no one understands. Most people think that suicide is a cry out for attention, or that a person is being selfish, but neither of these statements are true.

How do we keep black girls from committing suicide

We need to educate ourselves on what suicide actually is. Take threats of self-harm serious. Recognize those signs of depression. Get professional help for them. Suicide is serious, and if not educated on this subject correctly, we may miss the signs for suicidal thoughts with our children.

How else can we prevent suicide? Please feel free to comment.

Black Girl Names

The black community is known to give their children very distinctive names. Out of black girls and black boys, black girls who do not have a common name, face discrimination, deal with being stereotyped, and are often joked about.

For years people have used the name, Shaniqua, for stereotyping black girls as a whole. When a black girls is called this name, it means that they being mocked. They are described as being a loud, ghetto black girl. Although this name is a popular association with black girls, it is not the only name that gets discriminated against, stereotyped, or joked about.

When black girls go into the labor-force, if their name is not what society views as a common name, some jobs may not even acknowledge their applications. Growing up I had a friend who did not feel comfortable putting her entire name on her application when applying for a job. Her name is stereotyped of being “ghetto.” In 2003, a study was shown that for black people with “black” names, only 1 in 15 received a call back about their resumes compared to “white” names who received 1 in 10 call backs for their resumes.

Just because you were named differently does not mean you should be discriminated against. It is not like you asked to be given that name, your parents gave it you. Why should a black girl have to feel like her name is powerless? We as a society have to stop discriminating against one another, which is the first step. Self-evaluation within all of us is well-needed.

Please share any thoughts or opinions!


I personally believe that to be black in this country is enough hard work. Therefore, I do not understand why colorism within the black community continues to take place. History has shown that during slavery, light-skinned slaves were thought to be better than dark skinned slaves. Light-skinned slaves worked in the big house, and dark-skinned slaves were sent to work as a field hand. After more than a century, colorism continues to effect the black community putting us against one another for how light or how dark our skin is. Mostly, this starts young.

Darker skinned black girls are often talked about in school because of their color. Other kids refer to them as being burnt like toast, as dark as purple, or simply dirty. Children can be cruel; however, we have to ask ourselves who is teaching them this? Black girls who have to face this cruelty, often have a hard time learning in school, become depressed, or develop low self-esteem.

Society is teaching them this. Society has taught us that lighter skinned people are who we should want to be. Society has taught us how too idolize. It will be up to society to shape our views differently.

If we create more programs and organizations about embracing or empowering black girls, I think this problem would be less effective to a black girl because they would learn how to face that cruelty in a positive light by knowing that they have a beautiful skin color no matter what anyone says.

What do you guys think? Please feel free to share!

Teen Dating Violence

Research has shown that teen dating violence takes place for black girls due to having a low socio-economic status and growing up in poorer neighborhoods. The impact of mental, physical, and psychological consequences is the cause of teen dating violence for black girls.

Although adolescent dating violence does not discriminate for any race, black girls and the black community are more prone to be physically abused by one another in their relationships. Black girls who grow up in homes witnessing physical abuse by the people who are raising her, allows for her to fall into the same kind of relationship as she gets older.

After a being subjected to certain teachings, they become embedded inside. Some black girls may think that this is what relationships are supposed to be like because they were not exposed to anything differently.

When I worked as a Youth Care Worker, I talked to a girl, 14 years old, who had been physically abused by her boyfriend, which is the reasoning for her stay at the group home. After being beaten brutally, she missed her boyfriend dearly. After talking with her, I found out that she came from a physically abusive home watching her mother go through domestic violence.

Children learn from their parents. Parents have to make sure they are setting positive examples for their children. We can almost always understand why a child grows up and acts in a certain manner by looking at the way they were raised.

How do we break this chain of teen dating violence for black girls? Please comment with opinions!

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