Another person who has had a very large impact on my life and who has shaped me into the human that I am today is my father. I have mentioned him in previous blog posts, but I never addressed everything that I think I want to. I just want to put it out there that I do not want sympathy. I am happy that I went through a hard divorce because it has taught me so much about what I deserve in life and how strong I really am. I have grown up and I have learned so much from everything and I am grateful for the lessons because I am so much better for it.
My dad wasn’t always a bad guy. Up until I was twelve years old, he was actually pretty amazing. He is a police officer, so I thought he was so cool and brave. We always had so much fun joking around together. I remember watching shark week together every year. When I first started to play soccer, he was such a great support. He always wanted me to do my best so he would help me practice all the time. He even was my soccer coach one year and it was so much fun for us.
To keep it short and sweet, he cheated on my mom. But it wasn’t the cheating that ruined the relationship between us it was all the lying that he did after the cheating. He loved to lie about anything and everything even if it was something so little, he would lie just for the heck of it. I never understood it. He wouldn’t help with my brother at all, he put all that on my mom. He actually put all the hard parts of parenting on her and he just wanted the fun parts, but that’s not how that works. I saw right through everything and eventually after years of trying I kind of just threw my arms in the air and gave up. I was over it.
When something like this happens to someone or a family it is so easy to be full of hate. It is so easy to be angry and honestly, I had every right to be angry. And I was for a really long time. I worked really hard to be where I am today. My family has sacrificed a lot so that I am able to be where I am today, in school, happy, healthy. I am proud of who I turned out to be and I did it without my dad and I am so proud of that.
I think that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I think that I was dealt the cards that I was because I could take that pain and conquer it. I know what I deserve in life more now than ever. My mom has a really great boyfriend named Brad now and he is amazing. She learned what real love and what she deserves in a relationship too. I couldn’t have done any of this growing without her. I am grateful for my past and so excited for my future especially because of how strong I am now. I guess if I could say one thing to my dad it would just me “thank you.”